(After) The Tale of Moby Dick

After the Pequod went down without it’s captain, her crew clung to her drift wood for dear life. In seconds there would be no survivors to tell the tale of heroic Captain Ahab and his struggle with the Moby-Dick! What a waste of good coffee in the form of Starbucks.

A moment later, out of the frothing whirlpool where once floated the Pequod, Moby-Dick burst out of the water. His breach must have been 10 feet in height, for his re-entry splash rocked the drowning sailors clinging to life with their drift wood.

“There’s that cursed whale again! He’ll surely have his way with us, helpless in the water.” Lieutenant Warsh-a-Parsh said. “A-hoy! Me thinks he saw something fishy about this fish. Was that our dear sweet captain somewhere in it.”

And true the Lieutenant was, for when the great white whale appeared out of the water for a second time, Ahab could be clearly seen from atop Moby’s dorsal fin. The sun shone brightly behind him making a picturesque scene for the remainder of crew still alive. The mix of feelings of euphoria and dismay from the sailors was too strong for the weak hearted. All who could not take such doses of the two extremes passed out of consciousness and down to the depths of the deep blue sea.

Moby-Dick surfaced once more to scoop up the sailors in the water with his great mouth. The men were sucked into the smelly mouth with such great force that some were rendered unconscious because they could not handle the G-force. Once the last sailor was sucked into the mouth, there was silence once more on the calm ocean. The crew of the Pequod will live another day.

But not all was well in the kingdom of Moby-Dicks mouth, for the whale was growing hungry. Not attempting to resist his insatiable hunger, Moby-Dick swallowed the crew in one monstrous gulp. The screams of the sailors could be heard all the way to shore of New Zealand and back. Captain Ahab was astonished at the unreliability of his new whale companion. When the last of the sailor had been swallowed, Moby-Dick’s heart had stopped. Apparently he did not know the capability of his own throat, for a great white whale could not swallow an entire crew. A great white whale could not even successfully swallow an orange without choking to death, or worse.  The crew of the no longer in service Pequod was roughly ten-thousand times the size of a regular, plain, grubby, old orange.

Moby-Dick and Captain Ahab was going to go straight to Davy Jones’s Locker in a matter of seconds if Ahab didn’t think of something quick. As quick as a captain could drink, Captain Ahab leaped off into the cold, deep, blue water of the Pacific Ocean. Captain Ahab was clearly not in his element here treading water. His ivory leg was snapped off by the evil damned great white whale whose terribly named name was known by the population of the world as Moby-Dick!

The great white whale first exploded like a wonderful supernova in space, then plummeted straight to Davy Jones’s locker as foretold by your all-knowing narrator. The pieces of partly digested seamen were now raining down on top of Captain Ahab’s head, and were starting to hurt him dearly with their sharp bones and squishy eyeballs.

As Ahab thought it was the end beautiful friend, as scripted by Jim Morrison, the coffin of poor Queequeg came a-floating up from the depths of the murky blue water of the pacific.

“Thank Lord Jesus Queequeg! You dying might have been the best thing that has ever happened to me!” Uttered old Captain Ahab who was drenched with the salty water of the Pacific, the blood of his former crew and his own tears.

Because it would take a normal man seven-teen days to swim back to port, it would take our Captain thirty-four days because he had but only one leg. But Ahab had not one single care in the world, now that he had a coffin floatation device. He could happily live his life eating the dismembered body-parts of the sailors who once belonged to the Pequod. Ever since Captain Ahab was a wee babe, he dreamed of living out at sea. Now his dream has become one with the Manifest world of reality we all may call our home. For Ahab, he may live in the other world, the dream world, the only world a fully fulfilled man should deserve to live in.

As the mighty Captain Ahab looks back on his adventurous, perilous and satisfactory day, he finds that his life is complete. He has spent many a year desperately searching for the Moby-Dick. He now has no life purpose to drive him on to the next level of his one dimensional life. Captain Ahab can finally rest knowing is longtime enemy is dead….

….And rest he did, for the rest of the existence of the world, forever.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s